Glitter and Hurt Feelings Or,
by atsuibelulah
Summary: Four Times Sarah Williams Gave Me Harry Dresden, Wizard More Than I Bargained For and One Time I Returned the Favor.


**Four Times Sarah Williams Gave Me (Harry Dresden, Wizard) More Than I Bargained For and One Time I Returned the Favor**

**By Atsuibelulah aka norgeblulah**

**For sonata_ix  
**

1)

I first met Sarah when I was an angsty sixteen-year old sent to live with Ebenezar McCoy at his farm in the Ozarks. I'd been carted there straight after the Council hung the Doom of Damocles above my head, with Justin DuMorne's murder and Elaine's death snapping at my heels and fueling my nightmares. I arrived in a rainstorm with a scowl on my face.

Sarah arrived two weeks later on a sunny afternoon in a red jeep. And she wasn't too happy about it either. Magic does that to people.

That morning, McCoy had grumbled something about a new student of his, coming to stay for the summer. I tried not to seem interested or curious, which was part of my diabolical teenage plan to act the complete opposite of how I felt.

Having spent most of my life under the tutelage of a lately revealed Dark Wizard and having recently been betrayed both by said wizard and his other student, my only friend/lover, it doesn't stretch the imagination far to assume I had never developed any kind of reasonable social skill. So it's also pretty safe to say, I was freaking out.

After about three seconds consideration I decided three things. One: a student staying for only the summer must not be very serious. Two: if they aren't serious, they can't be very powerful. Three: they probably wouldn't like me anyway.

Look, in addition to no social skills, my self esteem was so low it was practically non-existent. I didn't even think McCoy liked me, and he was nice to me most of the time.

Anyway, I figured if this new student wasn't going to like me, I was determined to dislike them first. Intensely.

I spent most of the morning churning up bad feelings. I frowned at my breakfast, angrily plowed through my chores, and finally ruined my lessons by attempting to call power into an object while thinking about something else entirely. There was a small explosion and a couple lacerations, nothing too dangerous, but it sure as hell put McCoy in a snit.

He was going for a first aid kit when she pulled up in a little red jeep. And all my angry thoughts flew directly out of my head.

I was standing in the front drive with a towel wrapped around my forearm and a slack-jawed look on my face. In all my hours of speculation, I had not considered that the new student would be this strikingly beautiful girl half-waving from behind the wheel. But I tenaciously held onto my anger and my expression worked its way back to a deep scowl.

She took off her aviators and squinted at me. "This is McCoy's place, right?" She called as the turned off the engine.

"Yeah," I just about growled, but quickly looked down at the red stain spreading under my palm. I didn't want to meet her eyes for long, and it wasn't just because of the soul-gaze.

"Good. That's quite a drive all the way up here, huh?" She sounded a little put out, and I had noticed her expression was a little tight. I wasn't good enough at reading people then to figure out why.

She sounded nearer. I looked up and saw she was walking toward me. She wasn't movie-star gorgeous, but I had never been approached so directly by a beautiful girl before. A completely irrational oh-shit feeling rose up in me and I swear I almost started stammering. Her expression had changed swiftly, her smile friendly and unassuming. She obviously had no idea of the effect she was having on me. That and that fact alone had me seething in resentment when I replayed the encounter in my head over the next few days.

I was saved from having to answer, and inevitably put my ragingly hormonal foot in my mouth, when her eyes caught on my arm, "Oh man, are you okay? Do you need—"

"He's fine." McCoy finally came out of the house. "Just a hazard of the craft. And he's had worse before. Right, Harry?"

"Right," I practically hissed.

McCoy turned to the girl. "I'm Ebenezar McCoy, by the way, young lady. You must be Sarah."

"Yes, glad to finally meet you, sir." She shook his hand firmly, but I noticed it was close to a tight grip, as if she'd actually been desperate to finally meet him.

"Well Sarah, this is Harry Dresden, my full time boarder and student. I believe I mentioned that he would be included in your lessons. Harry, this is Sarah Williams."

"Hey," I grunted and saw her smile awkwardly before I frowned at my shoes again.

"You find the place okay?" McCoy asked.

Her smile turned sly, like she was sharing a private joke with herself, "Oh, I hardly ever get lost anymore."

His expression became serious. I like to think of it as his business face. "Yes, I remember you said that in your letter. After you get settled, I want you to tell me more about this experience of yours. I've never heard of anything like it."

I looked at Ebenezar in astonishment. At the time, I seriously thought he knew everything.

My mentor glanced my way, and held the first aid kit out to me. "Better put something on that, Hoss."

I ducked my head, more embarrassed and angry to be excluded from the conversation. I snatched the kit from his extended hand.

"Wash it out at the pump first."

"Yessir." I practically ran across the yard. I felt the girl's eyes on me the entire time. I closed my eyes and could still see her smile. It wouldn't last long, I told myself. I had learned the hard way not to trust a smiling face.

2)

"I want to go into the fun house," Sarah said.

I sneered in answer as we walked past the game booths at the only county fair I'd ever seen, which I have to say was a little under-whelming. It was a swelteringly humid July afternoon. I was hot from the sun, tired from the three hour ride we took to get there, and still trying to put up a general front of dislike where Sarah was concerned.

I was still performing this little act, mostly to make myself feel better about having misjudged her. This was all despite the fact that I'd come to realize she was all right. More than all right actually, she'd become my friend.

I'm certain now that she had seen through it by then, in fact I imagine she had my number right after I skulked away from the dinner table the first night she was there.

"Why the fuck would you want to go in there?" At this time, I was also under the impression that swearing all the time was cool.

Sarah, God bless her, just smiled at me. "Because it'll be fun."

She handed the attendant a ticket and looked expectantly at me. I followed suit and grudgingly allowed her to lead me through the giant red doors.

***

The hall of mirrors in the fun house was narrow and over-bright. Fluorescent lights illuminated every corner and the mirrors themselves only amplified it. Each mirror was maybe two feet wide and as tall as I was. There were five or six lining each side of the hallway.

I was kind of wiggling around in front of a mirror across the hall from Sarah. Moving forward and backward, changing the distortion of my face and twisting my own features up at the same time. You know, the kind of thing you do when you're in front of one of those wavy mirrors.

I looked back at Sarah and saw her staring intently at one of the mirrors. This one made her eyes enormous, like a Japanese anime character. She whispered, dead serious, "Hoggle, I need you."

"What was that?" I called, sure I had misheard her.

She turned to me and grinned again, but now there was a secret knowledge lurking in her eyes. I thought of how Elaine had looked at me when she'd told me about what Justin was doing, like it was a big prank on the world. I didn't like it then, and my stomach flipped over when I saw even a hint of it in Sarah.

Things kind of went downhill from there.

A creature appeared in the glass behind her. Its eyebrows shot upwards, apparently the only way its ugly face was expressive. "Hey, little lady, what's this?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin. Its voice was gruff and low; it was so unexpected, I didn't catch the friendliness of the words. I turned to Sarah, looking for a sign of her motivations. I thought it was a minion of Justin coming for revenge. Was she the one who brought it there? Did it have some hold over her? My heart was hammering in my chest, but I couldn't run without Sarah. In my terrified head I imagined our legs making that noise from Scooby-Doo.

But she turned back to the creature, still grinning happily. "Hi, Hoggle. It's a hall of mirrors!"

"Neat!" He growled.

I stumbled back and hit the mirror behind me. Desperately trying to figure out what the thing had done to my friend and when it had had the time to do it. Was this some sick joke? A crazy mind-fuck before it gave me my comeuppance?

"Oh man," Sarah had finally registered my terrified expression. "Oh no, Harry, don't worry. This is my friend Hoggle."

I looked again at the scene before me. The creature was inside the mirror, there was a barrier between us. Sarah was standing near to it, comfort and trust in her stance, with only a look of concern for me on her face. If she'd summoned a demon or monster, she would never have been that relaxed. The secret malice I'd thought I saw was gone. My words were labored. I was getting over what amounted to a panic attack.

"Your…friend?"

Her expression became strained. I think she realized that may not have been the way to introduce her strange-looking friend to a traumatized kid. "Yeah, we met—

She was cut off by a string of giggles emerging from the shadows. The lights began to flicker.

"Some fun house," I murmured. "More friends of yours?"

Sarah's eyes had grown wide and frightened. "No."

"Uh oh, Sarah," the Hoggle could apparently sound scared, even if his expression didn't change much. "I gotta get going."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I know. I'm sorry, Hoggle. I…"

"Don't worry, little lady. We know how he is."

The giggles were louder now, growing more and more like laughter, lower and deeper than before. It sounded more like a man.

Sarah strode forward and pulled me up. "Come on, kid. We have to go, too."

I found my hands were shaking. I hadn't noticed before. My limbs felt slow and clumsy. She slipped an arm around my waist and my own arm around her shoulders. "I don't know what's wrong with me," I said.

"I'm sorry, kid. I'm really sorry. Shit, this was a terrible idea." Her hands tightened around me in her remorse. It felt good. To know that she was sorry, that what happened to me meant something to her.

We left the fair right away, slowly making our way back to her car. When we finally got on the road, and I made it look as though I'd fallen asleep in the passenger seat, I heard her say, "You have to fucking grow up, Sarah. You came here for a reason. If you weren't serious, you shouldn't have come. No more of these games. This is it."

A little while later, she whispered, "I'm so sorry, Harry. I won't let anything like that happen to you again."

Promises like that are only made by the young and naïve. Someone's traumatic history can be brought up by anything and everything, it doesn't matter what it is. It was a long time before I didn't go a week without dreaming of fire or a month without feeling stomach-eating fear over absolutely nothing. That time was different because Sarah had seen it happen. But both Sarah and I were green enough to believe her when she said those words.

At least it let me fall asleep for real.

3)

Sarah was smiling at me from the opposite side of the desk in my Chicago office. I was still busy picking up my jaw from the floor. The door had been unlocked, which was not very smart seeing as I had just started a war about six months back, and she'd surprised me in the middle of my lunch.

"Come on, Harry," she chided, "You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

Now, in my line of business a ghost isn't unheard of, but old friends coming out of the woodwork is usually a surprise to me. I've found that the world of magic separates people more than it brings them together and it's not often that I part with friends or acquaintances on great terms; Sarah was one of the few.

"How did you find me?" This was my routine question for old friends. It came out of my mouth before I could think reasonably.

Now she smirked, "You're in the book, kid. And we do still have our mutual friend, don't we?"

"Yeah," I answered, looking dumb. I, the idiot that I am, had momentarily forgotten I have an ad in the phone book, as well as a still cordial relationship with McCoy. "Sorry. I'm just a little jumpy lately."

Sarah sighed, "I know the feeling." Before I could question her on that one, she looked up brightly and said, "I'm in town visiting my little brother. Do you want to meet him?"

"You have a brother?" This was a complete surprise to me. I suppose she never wanted him involved in the magical world. I didn't blame her.

Her smile was a little tight, "Yeah."

"And you're sure you want him to meet me?"

"Yes, Harry. I am." She put her hand over mine and looked straight in my eyes. "We're family."

It doesn't take much more than that to get me motivated.

Sarah said the kid's name was Toby and that he was a freshman at U of C. They'd made plans to have lunch at the school cafeteria. I'm not exactly sure why, but it was fine with me. That is, until we reached the double doors of the building and heard the music coming from inside.

The cafeteria was saturated in powerful magic. And through the glass windows and doors we could see a crowd of kids singing and dancing around one lanky blond.

I turned to Sarah, an accusation on my lips. But I saw the terrified look on her face and I couldn't say it. She'd wanted me there because she was worried something like this might happen, or had already happened. She was trying to protect her brother and I couldn't fault her for that. I didn't like being lied to and I really didn't like being used, but I let it slide. She was family.

All I said was, "After this is over, you're telling me the whole story. From the beginning."

There was an apology in her eyes when she answered, "All right."

I broke through the doors, held closed by the spell, with a little burst of power and Sarah ran right in.

She pushed her way through the throng of moving limbs and blankly smiling faces, desperately reaching for the blond-haired boy at the center, who was singing his heart out about magic. Good grief, I thought, hanging back, ready to throw some power around if I had to. I watched Sarah duck and weave around those kids. I listened closer to the song, trying to figure out what was driving the spell. The lyrics were hard to catch; I had to really concentrate...until my hands began to itch, wanting to clap with the rhythm. It was a really catchy tune.

I shook my head and backed up another step. That was some powerfully suggestive magic. I hoped it didn't screw the kid up too badly.

"Toby!" Sarah cried, "Stop it! Please, stop!" Finally she caught him by the arm and he stopped singing and blinked at the kids surrounding him. When he cut off his song, the phantom music faded, leaving his thralls swaying confused and holding their heads as if in pain. Toby turned to look at his sister, recognition dawning in his eyes. "You have to get him out of my head," he said, and passed out.

I moved forward to help Sarah pull Toby down from the table. He wasn't too heavy, it was just awkward. But no one gave us a second glance.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Sarah nodded towards the undergrads, who had already begun to disperse.

"Oh, sure," I replied with a shrug and a smile. "Memory lapse and a migraine, they'll never know they just appeared in an alternate version of High School Musical.

Sarah just rolled her eyes at me. "You know, you were a lot funnier when you didn't think you were so funny."

4)

Toby was asleep in his dorm and Sarah and I were outside, sitting on a park bench on campus.

"I need you to do something for me, Harry."

"Sarah, you know I'll--"

"Don't say anything yet," she said, fixing her eyes on me. "You know better than to do that."

"I should," I only half agreed. In my mind, it didn't apply to her. I would have done anything she asked.

Man, I am an idiot. A loyal one, but really, I'm surprised I'm still alive too.

"I want you to summon someone from the Nevernever for me." It was a hard answer, but ultimately, there was never really a question of what it would be.

By now I should be resigned to my fate. I'm probably going to die helping someone do something really stupid. Luckily, I didn't die by glitter and hurt feelings that night, although maybe for a moment, I came close.

***

Sarah looked long at the faerie I had called to the edge of Lake Michigan. The Goblin King (Yeah, Sarah did finally told me the whole story, and no, I don't really want to repeat it. Let's just say there was a history) was all decked out like some glam rock-star with the crazy hair and the frilly cuffs. I could see maybe the attraction for a sixteen year old from the mid-80s point of view, but now, not so much. She sighed deeply, "Did you need to tell me something?"

His gaze was definitely holding over her right shoulder, but not far enough right to be fixed on me. He wasn't building power, wasn't looking for the fight I had expected. I was almost disappointed.

Then I wondered just what the hell was going on.

"Not particularly." The Goblin King's tone was pointedly bored.

Oh. I knew things between Sarah and this guy were personal. But from a revenge-for-thwarting-you kind of personal. I hadn't really considered they'd be this personal.

"Oh really?" Sarah's temper was flaring. I know the signs. Her hands were on her hips. "Did you need something from me?"

"Of course not," he was trying affronted now. Even I knew that wasn't going to go well.

Suddenly I felt another presence, a familiar one.

"Quit lying to the girl, you unbelievable prick." A barbed, but sultry feminine voice emerged from the shadows along with the particularly beautiful visage of my faerie godmother.

"Oh, shit." I couldn't stop myself from muttering.

She turned to me and smiled, the I'm-gonna-git-you-one-of-these-days smile she seemed to reserve only for me. "How did I know, you'd be somehow involved in this debacle, Godson?"

"Location?" I quipped. "I'm the only wizard godson you have operating within the Chicago area, aren't I, Lea? What are you doing here anyway?"

I like to keep a healthy bravado up around the faerie who wants me to serve as her obedient dog forever. Quippy equals confident in my mind.

Of course, I was actually scared half out of my skull. Which is a feeling I hate, a lot. Every time I see her it gets harder to say no to eternity by a harsh mistress' side. Weird, I know, but that's faerie magic for you and my younger self's stupidity. An important lesson for the kiddies out there, never make then break a bargain with your faerie Godmother, twice.

Lea gestured dismissively at the other faerie, "Don't worry, sweet, my duty here does not concern you. I'm making sure my poor little cousin doesn't get himself into too much trouble."

Said little cousin glowered at Lea, which didn't really improve his overall put-out demeanor. "It's the girl's fault," he growled to no one, because Lea was still concentrating on me. "If she hadn't hidden herself from me...I wouldn't have had to--"

"Shut up, will you?" Sarah yelled. "I have had enough of your games, Jareth. What do you want?"

The Goblin King's mouth twisted shut, like he'd just eaten something bitter. He didn't look chastised, though. In fact, he looked really pissed off.

I stared at Sarah, nearly appalled, wishing I could get my plaguing faerie to pay attention to me like that. I smiled at the thought. It would be pretty awesome.

Instead, I asked her politely, "Trouble?"

"He's infatuated. It's rather disgusting. He must be prevented from doing anything...unfortunate," Lea replied. It was kind of surreal; we were almost having a normal, pleasant conversation.

"Huh," I said non-commitally, having officially decided to stay out of it from that point on. I'd done what Sarah asked me to. I was not getting further involved in this lover's quarrel. Never, never, never a good idea, Harry.

"Infatuated?" I heard the smug triumph in Sarah's voice and I swore I saw a faerie eyebrow twitch.

Maybe not the most calculated move, but, you know, blinded by love and all that. This was obviously not the healthiest relationship in the world either.

No one said anything for a while after that. The couple in question just glared at each other, and everyone was growing more and more irritated as the silence wore on.

Sarah finally ground out, "You cannot bring Toby into this anymore. Stay the hell out of my brother's head!"

At that Jareth finally snapped, moving forward swiftly enough that I couldn't intercept him, he snatched Sarah's wrist and yanked her towards him. I gathered some power in my silver ring, knowing he would notice, figuring he was too pissed to care what I did.

"I can do as I damn well please!" I heard Lea give a little snort behind me. But he continued regardless, "And if you had not found some wizard's trick to hide from me, I would not have touched the whelp!" I tried not to take offense at his tone when saying "wizard." It was surprisingly easy; I don't like most of my kind either.

"And if you let loose that power, Dresden, I will bring it down on your head." He didn't even look my way as he threatened. Big man.

"You can try," was my intensely smart reply.

"Stay out of it, Harry. I mean that." Sarah was unperturbed by his manhandling. As she pulled her arm back, leveraging herself closer to the Goblin King, she asked him point blank. "If you don't need to tell me anything and you don't want anything from me, why do you need to know where I am all the time?"

He let her go and looked away. Got you there, I thought, but still kept my power at hand.

Lea stepped forward, addressing Sarah directly for the first time, "He's a child, jealous of a forbidden toy. Wanting only what he can't have."

At Sarah's blank look she continued as if talking to a particularly slow kid, "By hiding from him, girl, you've given him a challenge he can't back down from. He wants you in our world. Not in this one." Her face betrayed obvious negative feelings on the note.

Sarah turned back to the Goblin King. "Why?"

I rolled my eyes and to my surprise, Lea caught my gaze, tapping her foot impatiently. I realized this was probably the first time we had shared the same feelings on a subject.

Jareth looked Sarah intensely in answer, all pretense and bravado gone from his expression and stance. "You are my match, Sarah," he said simply. "Everything you have done has only made me want you more."

Sarah's eyes were huge. She backed up a step, her hands twitching and moving to grasp at her elbows, as if she wasn't sure what to do with them.

"Want me?" She whispered.

Jareth's eyes flashed; probably annoyed that he would have to clarify. "Need you," he said. "Love you," he finally ground out, like it hurt him to say.

I wouldn't be surprised if it had. I was astounded. Looking over at Lea, I saw a scowl on her face. She was a neutral force of the Nevernever, if the Goblin King was her cousin, his origin must be similar. They answered to the Winter Queen, but they walked through many different magical lands.

It was hardly a common practice to profess love to a human woman. So I wondered what Lea's definition of unfortunate was.

"And what do you think you're going to do?" My faerie Godmother blustered, striding towards her cousin. "Take her back with you? What do you expect the Queen to say? Or your father?"

"Leanansidhe, if I required your input, I would have requested it."

He looked at Sarah, a softness in his eyes I had not seen before. "Just don't hide from me any longer."

"Okay," she replied.

In the next moment he was gone.

Lea turned to me, that smug as hell smile back on her face. Before she could speak I offered her a cheeky bow and said, "Have a good night, Godmother."

"Do tell that lovely young woman...Susan yes? Tell Susan hello for me, Harry." She vanished, probably reveling in the haunted look she'd slapped across my face.

"Fucking bitch," I muttered after her.

Sarah's hands were pressed to her face and she let out a half-sigh-half-sob. But she looked up and smiled at me reassuringly before I could even attempt to offer her any comfort.

So instead, I said seriously, "Sarah, when you see him again, whatever you do, don't strike any bargains."

She laughed quietly, her hand absently touching her watch, "I learned that one the hard way, Harry. Don't worry about me."

And one time I returned the favor...

After the county fair incident, I warmed up to Sarah a whole lot. We took walks in the woods together, staying on the paths, as Ebenezar strictly demanded. Sarah did most of the talking while I listened, trying to erase the permanent scowl from my face.

I never said much of anything, my life experience up until then had been centered on magic, or was too tragic to speak of, and I was glad Sarah respected my privacy. So she told me about her friends and her drama studies, pointedly ignoring any stupid comment I made to make myself feel better for never having a real school experience.

I had had no time for interests or hobbies since I was about ten, so they were limited to Star Wars and Saturday morning cartoons. Not a ton of common ground there, but I think we did okay.

She was the first girl I ever had a crush on.

Elaine was different. I was in love with her before I knew it should have started with just a crush. I didn't even really know what a crush was that summer with Sarah, so I mostly just spent my time hanging on Sarah's every word and pretending I wasn't bewildered or terrified by my feelings for her. And she would just smile at me like Elaine had, with a knowing amusement that I was completely baffled by.

Things took a really confusing turn after I tried to kiss her. Sarah was a trooper about that one.

It was in the barn we'd been clearing some hay from the loft and had just finished as the sun began to set. We were standing at the door looking at the painted orange-sky and I leaned in a little awkwardly, but got her right on the lips.

I immediately thought of Elaine and Sarah immediately took a step back, her hands at my shoulders, gently pushing me away. That's when I started to cry.

It wasn't my finest moment, okay?

Terrible, over-wrought thoughts swept through my hormone-addled brain. Things like, how because of my dead soul mate I was sixteen years old and could never love again, how I brought death and destruction to those who loved me, how I'd totally ruined my relationship with Sarah, how it was probably better for her that I had.

I saw the tender expression on Sarah's face and totally fell apart.

She gathered me up in a hug, whispering to me and shushing my sobs. We sat in the hay and I told her everything about Elaine and Justin. About the dark accusations of the White Council and the condemnation and fear I had heard in their voices. Sarah took it all with tears and apologies and finally that sad smile she seemed to reserve just for me. I fell asleep in her arms that night, tucked under her chin, feeling truly safe and loved for the first time in a long, long while.

I sometimes wonder if she knew what she was getting into being little Harry Dresden's only friend. She probably didn't, but she did the job like a champ. She's one of the few reasons I turned out any good at all.

I'm not going to say she was like my big sister from that day on, because she is my big sister. That's how I felt about it then, how I do still feel.

We haven't spoken in a little while. I don't really want to bring her into the knee-deep shit I've waded through in the past couple of years. I just hope she's happy and I hope that fairy bastard is protecting her from everything that's been after me lately. If he isn't, I know where to find him. And, despite his big words and flashy outfit, I've got magic and the business end of a .44 on my side. 

A/N: Written for sonata_ix for the labyrinth_ex community for the 2009 Summer Exchange. Please head on over to Livejournal and check out the other awesome fics!


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